by Connie Shannon with Niseema Dyan Diemer LMT, SEP, BCPP
We all know that person who sees every silver lining, every rose over the thorn. Are they blissfully unaware of the downsides? No, actually quite the opposite. Optimists have seen the clouds, felt the thorns. They know the worst that can happen, and they also know it can be survived.
Once you find a positive thought, your brain wants to go to the next one. But when your mind jumps to a negative bias it stays there, pushing out the positive. What is your first thought when negative things happen, often out of your control? The 3 P's Personalization, Pervasiveness and Permenance play a role in your explanitory style. Let's take something as every day as gardening:
Personalization:
Pessimist: I always kill every plant I grow. I'm not a nurturing person.
Optimist: I usually get something to grow. I like to tend to things.
Pervasiveness:
Pessimist: The soil is bad here so nothing ever grows.
Optimist: The soil isn't great so I added some nutrients.
Permenance:
Pessimist: I will never be a good gardener.
Optimist: I will try different plants until I find some that work for me
By adapting, trying different methods, and not seeing yourself as the cause, or victim, of every problem, a stronger positive bias towards life is built. It takes practice and monitoring your thought processes, but you can change your explanitory style based on your internal dialogue.
Next time you can't find a parking spot, your plant keels over or you stub your toe on that darn chair remember the Universe doesn't "have it in" for you. You have options, you have choices, and you can practice an explanitory style that gives you energy rather than drains your energy.