By Connie Shannon with Niseema Dyan Diemer LMT, SEP, BCPP
We all know our PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) is meant to keep us safe from COVID. But what about how you describe your relationship to the world? Does it act as a barrier to your sense of self, especially when dealing with misfortune or crisis? Do you feel "safe" explaining events as things that always happen to you, that no matter what you do nothing will change?
Your reaction to how things are in the world around you is called your explanatory style.
Martin Seligman, author of Helplessness and Learned Optimism, breaks it down in simple terms. "Your explanitory style stems directly from how you see your place in the world - whether you think you are deserving or hopeless. It is a habit learned in childhood and adolescence."
If you were told you were not valued, your help wasn't needed or felt left out, chances are your style will be pessimistic.
The elements of your explanitory style are the 3 P's. Let's look at how these relate to our COVID experience.
What is PPP?
Permenance - Pervasiveness - Personalization
Permanence (thinking in "always"and "never" terms):
"I will never stop feeling vulnerable. This virus is always going to be here!"
Pervasiveness (universal blanket statements):
"The Virus is everywhere and there is no way to avoid it."
Personalization (low self-esteem and self-blame):
"It's my fault I got my family sick I should have never gone outside."
Suddenly, and it happens quickly, you are depressed and unable to achieve even small goals. Projects fall to the wayside and you stop taking care of yourself. Plagued by self doubt, you say to yourself, "what's the use? This is the way it has always been and I can't change it." All of this is a manifestation of the negative bias imposed by PPP.
Not all negativity or feeling helpless is bad. It can be a motivator to focus on the things we can control in our lives or a reminder that bad things happen but "this too shall pass." Take a moment to recall the hard times you've gotten through in the past. Write down how you think you got through them. Can you access these resources now? Small steps of realizing "I can and I did" add up to greater self esteem.
In Part 2 we will show you the path to Learned Optimism next week on The Positive Mind Radio Show / Podcast.